


The Ballad of Ianto Jones

by mimarie



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Other, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-24
Updated: 2007-06-16
Packaged: 2017-10-12 22:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimarie/pseuds/mimarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The <strong>true</strong> events of  <em>Cyberwoman</em> (with G(r)eek chorus).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
> **Rating:** contains occasional instances of language, alliteration and rhyming couplets, mild gore, satire, innuendo, misuse of iambs and some violence (so that would be...PG 13?)  
>  **Cast** (in order of appearance):  
>  Ianto Jones - A Receptionist and Torchwood Employee  
> Owen Harper - A Doctor and Torchwood Employee  
> Jack Harkness - A Director of Torchwood Three and professionally flexible Man of Mystery  
> Gwen Cooper - A former Police Constable and Torchwood Employee  
> Toshiko Sato - A Scientist and Computer Specialist and Torchwood Employee  
> Doctor Tanizaki - A cybernetics expert  
> Lisa Hallett - A former Torchwood Employee and partial Cyber-convertee  
> Rhys Williams - A Welshman and boyfriend of Gwen Cooper  
> Myfanwy - A Pterodactyl  
> Lord Rusty - A God  
> Lady Julie - A Demi-God  
> Annie - A Pizza Delivery Girl  
> And featuring a Chorus of Fangirls, Floor Managers, Technical Lackeys, Make Up Artists and other Creatures of the Last Days  
> [](http://jwaneeta.livejournal.com/profile)[ **jwaneeta**](http://jwaneeta.livejournal.com/) and [](http://aeshna-uk.livejournal.com/profile)[**aeshna_uk**](http://aeshna-uk.livejournal.com/)... Thank you - you may or may not wish to be associated with this, but it wouldn't be here without you! :)  
>  **Disclaimer** : I own nothing but the happy space between my ears.
    
    
    Voiceover		The Harkness speaks - pray silence please,   
    			For Torchwood is begun.  
    			And far and near, in cyberspace,   
    			Where comfy seats are drawn  
    			Near monitors, all lights turned low  
    			Anticipation starts to grow.  
    			Shots of the team now cross the screen,  
    			While murmurs hushed and voices keen  
    			All praying Rusty won't be mean,  
    			And hoping for a certain sight,   
    			A just reward to eyes delight -
    
    Chorus			_Three weeks already have gone by  
    			We've Owen's arse seen, fleetingly,   
    			But that's not what we're waiting for-  
    			Hurrah for Harkness, give us more!_
    
     Voiceover		The scene is set inside the Hub.  
    			The lights are low, a nicely scrubbed  
    			And worried looking Ianto Jones is standing by the door,  
    			He frowns, and then adjusts his tie, then touches it once more.  
    			Lights flash, and then the siren sounds, the hatch rolls slowly wide,  
    			Beyond the door, we see at last the team, at play, inside.
    
    A basketball (marked 'Torchwood', natch)  
    			Is bounced and thrown about,  
    			From hand to hand passed easily  
    			They leap, are playful; shout  
    			Vague insults in a friendly way,  
    			The point is scored, a victory roar,  
    			An outstretched hand a 'loser' marks,
    
    Owen			Jack's round!
    
    Voiceover				triumphant Owen snarks.  
    			They leave the Hub together still,   
    			Jack throws the ball; that bitter pill -
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			The ball he catches as they leave.  
    			They run about, and jump and shout  
    			And now the sods have all gone out,  
    			Without a thought, and there's no doubt  
    			That sympathy abounds for Jones,   
    			This man who wears a suit._
    
     Voiceover		Relieved they're gone, he drops the ball  
    			Ignores his pain to make the call.
    
    Ianto			That's two tonight, and coleslaw please,  
    			Nutrition, says my boss, I need,  
    			I'm looking pale, or he suspects  
    			Some rickets round my knees.
    
    Voiceover		He chats, all friendly on the phone,  
    			The butler's bland façade relaxed.  
    			The team is out, he's home alone  
    			(Unloved, unwanted, nay, ignored),  
    			He hears the door, his poise restored,  
    			A cheerful greeting, says hello,
    
    Ianto			Konnichi wa,
    
    Voiceover				His bow is low:  
    			Respectful, always, Ianto Jones.
    
    As head held high, he leads the way  
    			A bright blue glow imbues the scene,  
    			And once the door has been unlocked  
    			The source of this bright light is seen:  
    			A sleeping woman, quite serene,  
    			Her shiny, tin bikini gleams,  
    			Wired, tubed and clamped; a live machine.
    
    Advancing, stunned, the scholar gasps,  
    			Entranced, he's eager, mesmerised -
    
    Tanizaki		Impossible, not one survived.  
    			(He gasps) My god, she's still alive!
    
    Voiceover		His mouth is round, his eyes grow wide  
    			As Ianto steps there by her side,  
    			A gentle kiss to lips-full pressed,
    
    Ianto			This is my Lisa.
    
    Voiceover				Through his pride	  
    			Sound blares, then there's a crash of light,  
    			And Torchwood scrolls from left to right,   
    			A moment longer, titles glow,  
    			The music fades, we're dropped into  
    			An explanation - flashback scenes;  
    			Red lighting, flames and lots of screams.  
    			He rescued her, he pulled her out,  
    			He called for help, he tried to shout  
    			Then, when he saw the fate of those  
    			Like her, he hid her well away.
    
    Tanizaki		But how, I have to ask, did you   
    			Know what exactly you should do  
    			To set up this machinery?
    
    Voiceover		A woman's voice says;
    
    Lisa					        That was me.
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			His tragedy is finally known;  
    			His girl is half a cyber-clone.  
    			A casualty of Torchwood's pride,  
    			But still, at least she's half alive -  
    			If not for him she would have died.  
    			But half and half is not the whole  
    			Of her he loves, he knows her soul  
    			This smart, sweet man, her Ianto Jones._
    
     Voiceover		Now she's awake there's life in Jones,  
    			Straight to her side he rushes fast.
    
    Ianto			Are you in pain?  
    			How's this new dose?  
    			Shall I adjust the drip, the feed?   
    			Or any other thing you need?  
    			And look, the doc I called is here,  
    			The man I said I'd bring you, dear.
    
    Voiceover		Then Lisa smiles a small, pained smile,  
    			She murmurs,
    
    Lisa					You're so good to me,  
    			You keep me drugged to help me sleep  
    			And promises you always keep.
    
    Voiceover		Impatient, doc descends at last,   
    			With questions needing to be asked  
    			(Some exposition; memories, pain,  
    			That flashback scene gets used again).  
    			Then Tanizaki gets excited,  
    			Wrinkling browed, the Orient's sage  
    			Unfolds his eager hands to touch,  
    			Flesh sumptuous, in metal caged,  
    			While Ianto flinches, twitches, tuts,  
    			He's not enjoying this so much.
    
    The camera pans, we see a pub.   
    			The scene is set: the team at rest,   
    			Drinks after play, Jack laughs and smiles,  
    			He tells his tale of men with horns,  
    			And women desperate for the warm  
    			Embrace of them (You'd almost think  
    			To hear the bloke he'd got a kink).   
    			They laugh and drink and then Tosh sighs;  
    			News quickly through the ether spread -  
    			There's something seen in nearby skies,  
    			They leave the pub, now hub-ward bound,  
    			Still laughing, yes, but mission led.
    
    Back in the hub it's getting worse,  
    			The doctor works, but will not be  
    			An optimist.
    
    Tanizaki				You must agree,  
    			She cannot stay indefinitely  
    			Like this, it's simply much too cruel.  
    			More merciful, much kinder too,  
    			And conscionable through and through  
    			To let her go than make her fight,  
    			Perhaps the bullet you must bite,  
    			You should be ready, though it's hell,  
    			To say your final, fond farewell.
    
    Voiceover		But Ianto will not take his cue,  
    			Snarls,
    
    Ianto				If she dies because of you -
    
    Voiceover		Then Lisa coughs; then Lisa breathes,  
    			A miracle! And Ianto cleaves  
    			And sighs and sobs, (all right, he weeps.  
    			Poor soggy Ianto, pale-pink peep).
    
    Chorus			_Hoorah for Jones, this joyful Jones,  
    			His girlfriend, Lisa, is alive!  
    			And sympathetic hearts relieved  
    			At Ianto's joy, for he believed  
    			And trusting, helped their love survive._
    
     Voiceover		A hub alarm - we pan back, wide,  
    			Across the Plass, they blithely stride  
    			As Tosh and Owen disagree.  
    			She wants to drive the SUV,  
    			But Owen will not cede the wheel,  
    			Insists next time they've got to deal  
    			With aliens, invading fleets,  
    			He'll still be fiddling with the seat  
    			As ETs take Newport High Street.
    
    Still not quite sure of being there,  
    			Gwen cautiously suggests they share,
    
    Gwen			Perhaps a rota might be fair?
    
    Voiceover		Jack grins, amused - she's cute confused -  
    			But can't pretend to be enthused:  
    			Few secret teams with hidden lairs  
    			Who hunt out tech and alien life,  
    			To his recall, find time to care  
    			Whose turn it might be next to drive.
    
    They're through the door, they're coming down,   
    			There's humour in Jack's cheerful scowl,  
    			As cautious Ianto leaves the pair  
    			Locked in downstairs. Joy can't repair  
    			His nerves so taut - he wipes his brow  
    			The smile he seeks is more a frown;
    
    Ianto			They'll soon be gone - I'll come back down.
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			His joy so sweet is turned to dread,  
    			The team are seen, but she can't be -  
    			His love must hide away instead.  
    			An anxious Ianto Jones then, he  
    			Who greets the team, but they don't see  
    			Past all his lies that suit so neat._
    
     Voiceover		Jack gives his orders, pulling rank,
    
    Jack			That man called Neal at Jodrell Bank -  
    			Gwen talk to him. The radar, Tosh,  
    			And Owen - take the RAF.
    
    Voiceover		To Ianto then, hands pleading pressed,  
    			He turns to make one last request
    
    Jack			Just work some coffee magic, please?
    
    Voiceover		As Ianto sweats there's busy peace,   
    			The kettle in his sights,  
    			He's trying hard to buttle,  
    			When Lisa's grid puts out the lights.
    
    Unknown to Ianto, while he waits,  
    			The doctor's found a messy fate -  
    			But Jack's upset, demands some facts,  
    			And diagnostic system checks.
    
    Now here's his chance; he swallows, speaks -  
    			Once more it's Ianto to the breach;  
    			Some cables he saw loose, he lies -  
    			He'll sort it out.   
    					Jack smiles; Jones sighs  
    			Then hurries back to cut the power  
    			To Lisa's peaceful cyber-bower.
    
    He throws the switch and then gasps loudly,  
    			Watches Lisa's head held proudly  
    			Turn to face him, cold and strong,
    
    Lisa			His upgrade failed, the drill went wrong.
    
    Voiceover		In horror Ianto must deny  
    			The truth he sees before his eyes,  
    			An accident, at best mistake,  
    			He wants to think for Lisa's sake.  
    			But there before him on the floor,   
    			Misshapen head and mangled jaw,  
    			He can't pretend - the doctor's dead,  
    			The metal shoved right through his head.
    
    Now Ianto starts to rage, he cries,
    
    Ianto			You've ruined everything we tried,  
    			How could you? He was helping you.
    
    Lisa			I know, that's why I helped him too,  
    			Out of his feeble, human flesh,  
    			It's all right, love, I'll do you next,  
    			And all your little friends as well.
    
    Voiceover		His jaw he straightens; will she hell.
    
    Ianto			You don't touch them, or else you're through.
    
    Lisa			Oh really? Why? What will you do?
    
    Voiceover		She looks at him, a stranger seeming,  
    			Metal body shining, gleaming,  
    			Stares until he turns away,   
    			His shoulders slumped (he's far from gay),  
    			A body to dispose of, stat,   
    			He'll deal her when he's done that.
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			His duty calls, a corpse to haul,   
    			The truth has caught him by the balls,  
    			He saved her life, but now she's changed,  
    			Not simply different, more... deranged.  
    			He pulled her out, he pledged his all,  
    			And hearts are breaking now for Jones,   
    			His young love's dream doomed after all._
    
     Voiceover		The UFO identified,  
    			The side plot's quickly shoved aside,  
    			A fast response to move the plot  
     _'So nice to see you, please sod off,'_  
    			Then pace kicks plot - at last some action!  
    			Split between the upstairs faction  
    			And the sundered pair beneath  
    			Their dream of love kicked in the teeth.
    
     Poor Ianto hauls the doctor's corpse  
    			While Lisa smiles with no remorse,  
    			Lies back to charge her batteries  
    			And in the hub the pictures freeze,  
    			As power stutters, lights go down.  
    			His smile turned wry, Jack starts to frown;
    
    Jack			Hey Ianto, have you found that fault?  
    			It's ages since you hit the vault.  
    			Hello? Hey, Ianto, are you there?   
    			We've got a dose of darkness here.
    
    Voiceover		But Ianto's hands are rather filled  
    			With Tanizaki's stocky build,  
    			He cannot reach the switch, can't speak,  
    			There's nothing but a strangled squeak.  
    			Besides, what could he even say?  
    			I'm sorry, sir, I was delayed?  
    			My girlfriend killed this man - yeah, right -  
    			We're playing 'hide the corpse' tonight?
    
    A second try, still no reply,   
    			Jack's store of patience soon runs dry,  
    			No beautiful Welsh vowels to hear,
    
    Jack			You know, somehow I start to fear  
    			There's something just not right round here.
    
    Voiceover		Downstairs, a sweating Ianto Jones  
    			Would say he's got that right.  
    			The list of things he has to do   
    			Has gone from 'Set love free,'  
    			To 'hide another mangled corpse  
    			Where no one else can see.'
    
    The sheeting pulled across his face,  
    			The doctor in his hiding place  
    			Now Ianto sinks, his head he clutches,  
    			Impetus, emotional crutches  
    			Lost amongst the death and lies  
    			He's so, so sorry, softly cries  
    			That elusive Ianto Jones.
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			It's all too much for him to bear.  
    			And though it's possible to see  
    			And still to have some sympathy  
    			For this poor shaking six-foot chap  
    			It's hard to now ignore the fact  
    			However well his suit he fills  
    			'Accomplice' fits him to the gills._
    
     Voiceover		They seek him here, they seek him there,  
    			Those Woodies seek him everywhere  
    			With 3D plans and high-tech scans  
    			They search the building for the man;  
    			Tie-wearing, pressed and neatly shod,  
    			Be-suited Ianto Jones.
    
    Two signals found where one should be,  
    			The signs are clear, the team can see  
    			Jack's quite annoyed but not surprised,  
    			Security's been compromised.  
    			Reacting quick, immediately  
    			He leads them to the armoury.
    
    Jack			Find Ianto, that's priority.   
    			And stay together, take great care,  
    			We've no idea what's lurking there.
    
    Voiceover		Bright torches flaring in the dark,   
    			The doc and copper take their guns,  
    			Down to the cellars. Losing comms,  
    			They search around (that 'X-files' shot),  
    			The blue light easy now to spot,  
    			And soon the door they're drawing near.
    
    Back with Toshiko, Jack is tense,  
    			Demands his team reply,  
    			But only static greets his words  
    			(He's not a happy boy).
    
    Toshiko			But that's not all I found, look here  
    			There's something else to see -
    
    Voiceover		They watch the screen as Ianto's seen,   
    			The doctor and his gear.  
    			Now Jack's annoyed,
    
    Jack			Just what the hell is going on round here?
    
    Chorus			_Alas for Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			He only wiped the pictures off  
    			Poor foolish man, his clever plan  
    			Has been derailed by smarter Tosh.  
    			And now the worry Jack has shown  
    			About the missing Ianto Jones  
    			(Still hiding Tanizaki san)  
    			Has turned around to bite the man,  
    			Such sympathy he garners will,  
    			Like lies and death, undo him still._
    
     Voiceover		Downstairs, our duo reach the room,  
    			Inside, survey the scene,  
    			The doctor gasps, he's petrified,   
    			Aghast at what he's seeing.
    
    Owen 			Turn it off! Just turn it off  
    			Right now! This shouldn't be -  
    			It isn't right, it can't be here,  
    			They brought down Torchwood One,  
    			A Cyberman in every home,   
    			They overran the Tower!
    
    Voiceover		His whispers fill the silent room  
    			In lieu of humming power,  
    			Then while they're staring, quite inert,  
    			Jack's voice comes breaking through.
    
    Jack			If I don't get some answers soon, I'm coming after you.  
    			Come on now guys, what's up down there?  
    			Just tell me what's in sight,  
    			I'll run down in a minute,   
    			But the timing must be right,  
    			Dramatically, know what I mean?  
    			I wouldn't want to crash your scene.
    
    Owen			It's bad (he's anxious, clearly fraught),  
    			The Cyber menace Torchwood fought?  
    			They've come to make another call,  
    			And left a spare bed in our hall,  
    			It's powered up and working too,  
    			I don't know what the hell to do.
    
    Voiceover		A step and then a vicious whack,  
    			And Owen's flat upon his back.
    
    Her back-up gone, Gwen's clearly scared,  
    			But to the shiny woman squares,  
    			And touching comms relays the facts:
    
    Gwen			Code zero - Jack, it's an attack!
    
    Voiceover		Then wide-eyed, bravely tries to stall -  
    			Negotiation first of all  
    			(Although her gun she's holding, high  
    			Just like Jack taught her - hand on thigh),  
    			She really doesn't want to die  
    			Or kill - but Lisa doesn't care,  
    			And grabs and hoists her in mid-air.
    
    Upstairs, it's more than Jack can take,  
    			Gun drawn, the order given straight,
    
    Jack			Wait fifteen minutes, then you leave.
    
    Toshiko			Don't tell me that. You can't believe  
    			I'd dump you here, locked in beneath.
    
    Jack			You have to go, you've got to see  
    			You're the last line of defence,  
    			The human race must count on you  
    			To use your common sense.
    
    Voiceover		Toshiko nods, her jaw she sets,  
    			Jack races to the scene,  
    			To find Gwen just about to be  
    			Upgraded - a machine.
    
    Jack's focussed on the job at hand,   
    			About to shoot the Cyberman,  
    			But startled by the sight of flesh  
    			(A first for Jack), he takes a breath,  
    			Exhales surprised, Gwen's life the prize,  
    			Aim holding firm on Lisa's eyes,  
    			Gasps,
    
    Jack			        You're a woman!
    
    Voiceover				       	Aims, then fires.
    
    A hurried stride, he's shoved aside,  
    			His balance knocked, his shot gone wide,   
    			His elbow numbed just like his pride  
    			As he's tackled by a suit.
    
    Chorus			_Alas for Jones, this Ianto Jones  
    			His plans have all gone wrong  
    			It's come apart around the seams  
    			He understands just what this means  
    			His life and love are broken dreams.  
    			But Ianto in his bloodied suit  
    			Can't bear to stand and let Jack shoot,  
    			Her morals might be destitute  
    			But he couldn't watch her die._
    
     Voiceover		Drills start to whirr above the rack,   
    			Where Gwen lies trapped, still tightly strapped  
    			And struggling with her metal bonds  
    			As whirling blades like deadly fronds  
    			Spin closer to her fragile flesh,  
    			She shrinks against the cold, hard mesh -
    
    While Jack, enraged by Jones's tight press,			  
    			Is forced to watch his deadly guest  
    			Walk free, as Gwen's confessed distress  
    			Grows louder now - her plight impressed			  
    			With calls for help, fraught, anxious cries  
    			And finally shoving Jones aside  
    			Jack snarls,
    
    Jack				     You're fighting the wrong guy!
    
    Voiceover		Gwen yells again, as, guilty-faced,  
    			Jones hurries now to set the pace -  
    			A straight, smart dash, a worried glower,   
    			He hits the switch to kill the power -
    
    The handle shifts, a shower of sparks,  
    			But still the blades come whirling fast.  
    			Gwen's life flies past with every pass,  
    			She screams, imploring, begs and shouts  
    			She won't give in - she can't get out!  
    			While helpless Jack can only stare -  
    			Fish-mouthed, eyes bulging, messy hair -  
    			And Ianto's stumped, still wracked with doubt  
    			Of how to sort the circuits out,  
    			No time to think; no time to spare -
    
    Ianto 			Shut off the power - everywhere!
    
    Voiceover		Jack barks the rapid order out,   
    			Transfixed in bleak frustration,  
    			But Tosh is stressed, she must protest,  
    			With anxious hesitation,
    
    Toshiko			But we'll be trapped if I do that,  
    			The hub will lock right down  
    			There'll be no way of getting out -
    
    Jack			Don't argue, do it now!
    
    Voiceover		Tosh throws the switch, bleak darkness falls,  
    			And silence spreads from wall to wall,  
    			Then crimson flickers light the black  
    			As bolts crash home and locks slam flat.  
    			The Hub is sealed; they're trapped inside,   
    			But Gwen (who's glad she hasn't died)  
    			Tells Jack she's sure she's sort of fine,  
    			Although if he could find the time  
    			To get her out she'd be sublime -
    
    Jones's guilt, it seems, he's making plain,  
    			Apologising once again,  
    			While Jack just orders -
    
    Jack						Guard the door.
    
    Voiceover		Gwen frowns, what's Ianto sorry for?  
    			But much more pressing, she would know,
    
    Gwen			So did you get her? Where'd she go?
    
    Voiceover		Jack shoulders Owen, gets his gun,   
    			They leave the dingy room,   
    			Then stop together at the noise,  
    			There's no pretence, they've got no poise,  
    			All frozen in the corridor,  
    			The Cyberwoman looms once more,  
    			Then stops; she knows they're standing there,  
    			But merely stands, and waits, and stares,  
    			They want to run, but there's nowhere -  
    			And then she walks away.
    
    Jack's lip curls tight, he turns his aim  
    			At Ianto's devious head,  
    			Just one quick squeeze, that's all it needs,  
    			A traitor will be dead.
    
    Gwen's shocked - she thought she'd seen the lot,  
    			But aimed and cocked, composure shot,   
    			Jack looks as though he's lost the plot,  
    			The order snapped to get them back  
    			She's half afraid he's simply cracked -  
    			And pleas to know what's going on  
    			Are greeted with a growling frown  
    			Gun tight to Ianto's sweating brow,  
    			He snarls, teeth gritted in a scowl;
    
    Jack			I'm trying not to shoot.
    
    Chorus 			_Alas for Jones, conflicted Jones  
    			His Lisa lives, this much is true,  
    			But flesh is weak, and Ianto too -  
    			He's in too deep, his cover's blown  
    			His girl's insane - he must have known  
    			With Tanizaki's corpse to hide  
    			She wasn't safe to keep inside.  
    			And loving Lisa won't erase  
    			The death and fear; won't garner praise  
    			Though sympathetic voices raised  
    			To see his loyal trust dismayed,  
    			Can't dignify his fall from grace -  
    			Disloyal Ianto Jones._
    
     Voiceover		When darkness falls, the empty space  
    			And silence of the hub's embrace  
    			Is unfamiliar, senses fooled  
    			As glimmers from the standing pool  
    			And shadows shift, cause Tosh to fear -  
    			Then echoed movement, soft but clear,  
    			That patient Sato hoped to hear  
    			Comes suddenly from close at hand,  
    			And through red gloom, a well-dressed man  
    			Walks silently across the strand.  
    			He's followed in by Gwen, then Jack -  
    			On edge, gun raised, Jones's movements tracked,  
    			And something hanging down his back.
    
    Concerned, confused - where's Owen gone? -  
    			Toshiko's shocked to hear a moan,  
    			Then, shaky cargo finally shed,   
    			(Who groans and rubs his aching head),  
    			Jack's shading to an irate red  
    			As agitation takes control,   
    			His order growled across a scowl.
    
    Jack			Tosh - weapons room - bring everything.
    
    Voiceover		Bemused composure wearing thin  
    			She can't comply -
    
    Toshiko					    It's all locked in,  
    			No manual, no override -
    
    Voiceover		Jack doesn't care; insists she try,  
    			While, focus fixed, preoccupied,  
    			A terse demand that Jones's hands rise  
    			And point-blank aim accompany  
    			His stern decree,
    
    Jack 					  Get on your knees!
    
    Voiceover		Standing, staring, mouth agape,  
    			Tosh hasn't moved, she can't mistake  
    			Such dire intent, this must be wrong,  
    			But has to ask - stuck here on comms,  
    			She's no idea what's going on.
    
    Jack's not inclined to tell her twice,  
    			He's had enough of being nice   
    			(Besides, which part of 'alien threat'  
    			Do his crack Torchwood team not get?).  
    			He grits his teeth, brow wet with sweat,  
    			And snarls, his aim to see her run -
    
    Jack			I gave an order; get the guns!  
    			And Gwen, you help -
    
    Voiceover					They step back stunned,  
    			But Jack's already turned his glare  
    			He needs the facts - now Jones must share.
    
    Jack			Did you know that that thing was there?
    
    Ianto			I put her there.
    
    Voiceover				No hesitation  
    			Self-condemned, Jones's confirmation  
    			Given freely, Jack's impatience  
    			Escalates; his temper breaks,  
    			And, Webley marking Ianto's face,  
    			He gets a grip, then tightens it,  
    			Eyes filled with rage, lips flecked with spit;
    
    Jack			A Cyberman in Torchwood -  
    			And you didn't even share,  
    			What else have you been hiding?
    
    Ianto			As if you'd even care.
    
    Voiceover		With blood-shot eyes and reddened face,  
    			Jones speaks his mind; presents his case  
    			Amenable expression chased  
    			From snarling lips by vitriol -  
    			He cleans their shit up, does it all,  
    			And no one asks, 'cos no one cares  
    			What Ianto does when they're not there,  
    			Providing for Jack's every whim:  
    			When did he ever think of him?
    
    Jack's taken back by Jones's attack,  
    			Eyes narrowing, he changes tack,  
    			Steps back, gives Ianto room to speak,   
    			Gun low, but still his look is bleak.
    
    Ianto			She's Lisa, she's my girlfriend,
    
    Voiceover		They're shocked, it's clear to see,  
    			And he can't bend, her life depends  
    			On making them agree -
    
    Though thoughtful Gwen just wants to know  
    			Why Ianto didn't share his woe.  
    			They could have helped, she's fairly sure -  
    			But Ianto's torn - he knows the score;  
    			It's Torchwood's basis - what they're for.
    
    Ianto 			I know exactly what you'd do -	  
    			So why the hell would I tell you?
    
    Owen			Perhaps a little loyalty?
    
    Ianto			My loyalty's to her -
    
    Voiceover		He speaks of love, then,  
    			Lisa's right to sick pay, days in lieu,  
    			Of injuries industrial, and Lawyers just4U.
    
    Ianto 			It's not her fault she's in the vault,   
    			She worked for Torchwood One,   
    			Got caught up in the fighting,  
    			Wasn't quick enough to run,  
    			She's owed so much, of this I'm sure -  
    			We're duty bound to find a cure.
    
    Voiceover		Jack can't believe the words he's hearing  
    			Grinds his teeth, and then some more,  
    			Is this because he's not been caring?  
    			Kneeling, Ianto on the floor,  
    			Insisting Lisa can be saved  
    			Just isn't big, or smart, or brave.  
    			To bring her to the Torchwood cave,  
    			Was worse than stupid; what he's done  
    			Could cause another Torchwood One.
    
    Jack			She's not the woman you adored,  
    			Her human side was simply cored.  
    			She's gone (he tells the weeping man),  
    			Get over it; I'm sure you can.
    
    Voiceover		But Ianto doesn't want to know,  
    			Jack must be wrong - it's not as though  
    			The job was finished, can't he see?  
    			It's their responsibility  
    			To set his girl, his Lisa, free.
    
    Frustrated now by Ianto's tears  
    			Jack curbs his anger, changes gears.
    
    Jack			A chance like this is all they need  
    			To re-establish, power that feeds  
    			On human weakness can succeed  
    			Where simple might would never win;  
    			You make the choice, you let her in,  
    			That's where the slaughter will begin -   
    			She'll hunker down inside the base,  
    			Rebuild the stinking Cyber race,  
    			The Bay today - the world tonight!  
    			And soon the universe will quake  
    			Worlds gone as they assimilate.  
    			From seeds so small they'll grow again,  
    			She's tried already - threatening Gwen  
    			Was just the start, she'll kill us all -  
    			But this stops here - our duty calls;  
    			We stand together, then she'll fall.
    
    Ianto			But we're in love! (a plaintive wail,  
    			And Owen's eyes roll, Gwen just pales)  
    			I had to save her, can't you see?  
    			Or have you never loved like me?  
    			I'd give the world to save her hide.
    
    Jack			It's time to choose, you must decide,  
    			You want to make it out alive?   
    			Then think about it, pick a side.
    
    Chorus			_With honest words so harshly spoken  
    			Surely Ianto's heart is broken,  
    			Jack won't bend for selfish woes  
    			It's Ianto's choice now - friend or foe;  
    			He's got to choose, he can't be both.  
    			So sadly dies this young love's dream -  
    			Now these would be those adult themes:  
    			Forget the bollocks, arses, fucks,   
    			The point is, sometimes life just sucks.  
    			There is no rule that good guys win  
    			And no one cares about a sin,  
    			No fairy tale or pantomime,  
    			No law down here to rule on crime,  
    			No rules at all but laws sublime:  
    			Trust, gravity and Jack - and time._
    
     Voiceover		Time's running out, they're stuck inside  
    			No guns to use, nowhere to hide,	  
    			No power for hours. They hear a stride -  
    			The Cyberwoman's back in sight  
    			But tearful Jones still won't comply,   
    			Insisting all he has to do  
    			Is talk to her, he'll see this through.
    
    Ianto			I'll save her life - and our lives too -  
    			She's not a monster - are you, dear  
    			(He turns to face her, moving near),  
    			Please, Lisa, let me help you change,  
    			Give up your wicked ways,  
    			We'll find a cottage, settle down,  
    			And metal babies raise.
    
    Lisa			But you are human; squishy, flawed,  
    			I'm clearly much superior,  
    			My glossy metal shiny bits,   
    			My nicely chromed posterior,  
    			I've been upgraded, I'm mark two;  
    			Much better than the rest of you.
    
    Jack			You've seen yourself, I s'pose (he shrugs), you're really kind of hot,  
    			And murderous, and quite insane - C3PO you're not.
    
    Voiceover		He won't back down, she turns around  
    			The water tower reflects her frown -  
    			She's not impressed, her face is grim,  
    			Disgusted at the sight of skin,  
    			Then Ianto's plea to help gives pause;  
    			A way, perhaps, to fix her flaws -
    
    Lisa			Although my upgrade failed to take,  
    			We've still got time to wipe the slate,  
     			If we're in love then this is fate;   
    			We'll share your brain, upgrade together  
    			Join in thought and flesh forever.
    
    Voiceover		Ianto's shocked; he can't agree,  
    			However much he wants to be   
    			In Lisa's arms, he's sure their flesh  
    			When joining is supposed to mesh  
    			Not merge;
    
    Ianto 				  I'm yours and you are mine,  
    			But needs like these can't be aligned,  
    			This love is made of you and me   
    			One each, both thinking separately.
    
    Lisa			If that's the case, it's clear to see  
    			We lack compatibility.
    
    Voiceover		Economy of word and deed  
    			Are met and measured in the speed  
    			Of Lisa's arm, the shock and fear  
    			On Ianto's face both written clear  
    			As, flapping hard, he fails to steer -  
    			And landing in a tangled heap  
    			Lies still enough to be asleep.
    
    Chorus 			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones,  
    			His love's no good; the cyber-cow  
    			He loves just wants his body now.  
    			With anguish wracked - though brain intact -  
    			He's thrown aside; he's tossed as scrap  
    			And shame and anger battle now  
    			For pity and the fact  
    			The daft be-suited boy's all damp  
    			His head and heart both cracked._
    
     Jack			You can't do that!
    
    Voiceover				   Jack yells, enraged,  
    			Gun raised, already cocked.  
    			A crack and then a lightning bolt;  
    			And he staggers, clearly shocked.
    
    Now, finally, the team take flight,  
    			Code nine manoeuvres, left and right  
    			They dodge and run, they duck and call,  
    			They can't afford to drop this ball.  
    			Locked in, they've nowhere left to flee,  
    			Impassive to the nth degree   
    			She follows quite relentlessly.  
    			While they around the table, panting,  
    			Shaken from their pointless ranting  
    			Listen to her slowly clanking,  
    			Drawing near while Jack expounds,  
    			Makes clear the precedent and grounds  
    			On which they'll shoot to kill, not maim -  
    			Her death must be their final aim.
    
    Pragmatic Jack, then, eyes agleam,  
    			Assigns each member of his team  
    			A role within the greater scheme:
    
    Toshiko's sent, lock-pick in hand,  
    			To delve beneath the leaflet stands  
    			With orders to divert the power,  
    			Then meet them by the water tower.  
    			She must protest; it's not the door -  
    			Although that's added to the score -   
    			(And worse, that doc of whom she dreams  
    			Is standing with the one who screams),  
    			But yet again, with lines to say  
    			And poignant scenes that she could play  
    			Jack's ordered her to go away!
    
    Disgruntled Tosh despatched at last  
    			Jack turns to Gwen and Owen's task:  
    			Some weapons now they must accrue,  
    			Jack's easy; anything will do.
    
    A thoughtful Owen, sure he'll soon  
    			Find plenty lethal in his room,  
    			Gets set to sneak across the gloom,  
    			But Gwen just frowns, she can't be keen,  
    			Suspicious of their leader's scheme  
    			She has to ask, she hopes she's wrong -
    
    Gwen			So what will you do while we're gone?
    
    Voiceover		Jack's look says all she needs to know,
    
    Jack 			I'll buy you time - go on now, go!
    
    Voiceover		Then right on cue (as if she's due)  
    			The enemy comes striding through,   
    			Determined pace still unabated,  
    			Intercept anticipated,  
    			Jack's distraction buys their flight -  
    			She enters left, they exit right -  
    			And Jack can't run, can't even fight,  
    			She's just too strong - he must be bright,  
    			Audacious, knock her off her perch.  
    			If baiting her buys time to search,  
    			He'll keep his distance, use his head -  
    			Determined still to see her dead   
    			Jack plies his tongue and talks instead.
    
    Jack			You can't profess to be the best  
    			Unwanted, uninvited guest   
    			A guy could have, but while you're here  
    			A word, please, in your shiny ear.  
    			You snuck inside without my ken,  
    			Brought all your high-tech cyber-tat  
    			And drained my power - I won't pretend  
    			I'm pleased, but I can live with that -  
    			But now you've tried to hurt my friends   
    			And that's enough - this has to end.
    
    Voiceover		Once round the table, down the stairs -  
    			The slowest chase that's ever aired  
    			While Lisa makes her case quite plain:   
    			She'll take their base - Jack's case is vain,  
    			Immune from care, no shame or pain -   
    			Delete them all and start again.
    
    Jack doesn't flinch, he's resolute;  
    			While he could flee her slow pursuit,   
    			Each second bought aids their dispute,  
    			He's got to stall, he can't be mute -
    
    Jack 			You've suffered, and it's still a shame,  
    			But fear and pain can't take the blame,  
    			No matter what - I'll make this clear -   
    			This ends right now, it stops right here.
    
    Chorus			_Hooray for Harkness! Captain Jack  
    			Our hero - though the odds are stacked  
    			Won't hesitate; unarmed, straight-backed -   
    			He'll put himself in way of harm  
    			With no defence but wit and charm.  
    			His bravery, though, can't disarm  
    			A momentary déjà vu   
    			Obscuring fannish points of view.  
    			While each might play a vital role  
    			In gaining their important goal,  
    			And battle must exact its toll,  
    			We know our man - no thinking fan  
    			Would gasp to find Jack's cunning plan  
    			Involves a last, heroic stand._
    
     Voiceover		She's not impressed; no aesthete she,  
    			Jack's winning smile and moving plea  
    			Dismissed without a single thought -  
    			Past reflex fast and muscle taut  
    			A lightning hand flicks out - he's caught!
    
    Jack shakes and shivers, groans and gasps,  
    			Electric palm to shoulder clasped,  
    			A final twitch, a rough breath rasps,  
    			The Captain crumples; well-shaped arse  
    			Meets floor, legs folding to the ground,  
    			And shocked, the team who hung around  
    			Stare horrified as he's brought down.
    
    Toshiko, watching from the cage  
    			As locks begin to disengage,  
    			Has no recourse but what Jack bade:  
    			No arguments or foolish pride  
    			Her duty now to get outside  
    			And quickly, while she's still got time -  
    			He tried his best, but Jack's supine,  
    			And now it seems she's next in line!
    
    But Jack's not done - he's simply resting,  
    			Plumage singed but still contesting  
    			Lisa's voltage - amp and watt,  
    			He's not impressed; if that's her lot  
    			With every volt of power she's got  
    			She'd better take another shot -   
    			He's shocked for sure, but on his feet,
    
    Jack			I'm not so easy to delete.
    
    Voiceover		Then well-plucked cyber-eyebrows meet  
    			As Lisa steps, annoyance plain,  
    			And simply zaps him once again.
    
    Gwen cries out,
    
    Gwen				         Jack!
    
    Voiceover				    	She turns to run  
    			But Owen's there to hold her tight,  
    			With low-voiced truth he bids her:
    
    Owen							  Come -  
    			Jack can't be helped, but we must fight.
    
    Voiceover		Gwen turns her gaze from Jack's pale corpse,  
    			To Lisa, then the silent Jones,  
    			Then, shining tears like failing hopes,  
    			She follows Owen up the slope.  
    			Their chances of surviving low:  
    			Two down; now only three to go.
    
    Chorus			_In silent darkness Harkness lies:  
    			No sign of life, his sightless eyes  
    			Turned inward, contemplating death.  
    			Expectantly we pause, but breath  
    			Does not return, and we, bereft,  
    			Must mourn him now - how, once before,   
    			We wept to see him on the floor.  
    			Our hero lost, and clothing shed  
    			In hope of taking him to bed   
    			Is torn instead, with harrowed cries  
    			Insistent still that Jack will rise,  
    			Our Captain surely cannot die.  
    			Such anguish felt, laments so shrill;  
    			In darkness cradled, Harkness still  
    			Can move, although he no more will._
    
     Voiceover		Alone unmoved, now Lisa shifts,  
    			Trajectories plotting, data sifts,  
    			The scattered team identified,  
    			Her target set and verified -
    
    Across the hub, Toshiko, shaking,  
    			Sees the line that Lisa's taking,  
    			Trying to contain her fright  
    			By urging on the blinking lights  
    			A beep, and as the LEDs  
    			Light green, the lock clanks finally free,  
    			Still not quite there, a little more -   
    			With Lisa close, Tosh grits her jaw  
    			And sets her shoulder to the door.
    
    The weapons Owen thought to find  
    			From past post-mortems left behind  
    			Have come to naught, he's getting fraught,  
    			What good's a torch? He would have thought  
    			A bone-saw, something sharp, serrated,  
    			Hunting still, his hopes frustrated,  
    			Simple scalpels all that's there.  
    			He sweats and searches, frets and swears  
    			While Gwen, on look-out, gets to see  
    			Tosh roll the hatch, slip finally free -
    
    Relief postponed until the door  
    			Is rolled right back and locked once more,  
    			Toshiko breathes a shaky sigh,  
    			Her hopes are high - she's safe outside,  
    			Then terror grips her, tight and fresh,  
    			As Lisa punches through the mesh,  
    			Toshiko gasps, she's got to run -  
    			No peace until her task is done.
    
    A simple sum, now Lisa knows  
    			Two down, one fled, leaves two to go.  
    			She swivels, scanning nice and slow  
    			And Gwen, on watch, moves just too late -  
    			Her torch shines full in Lisa's face!
    
    She gapes, aghast, descending fast  
    			Down well-scrubbed steps, breath harshly gasped.
    
    Another exit - sure to be  
    			But Owen has to disagree;  
    			They're trapped inside - they'll have to hide,  
    			Unless she fancies getting fried.  
    			Although one place might be secure...  
    			He gestures to a metal door  
    			Pulls out the drawer -
    
    Owen					       In here, you see?  
    			I'll get in first, you lie on me.
    
    Voiceover		She's unimpressed - he's not her type;  
    			Not round enough, too sharp, too bright -   
    			What's more the space is just too tight,  
    			She not a prude, but this won't do;
    
    Gwen			I can't just lie on top of you!
    
    Owen			I know it's not the greatest plot,  
    			But sorry, love - it's all we've got!
    
    Voiceover		In silence dark and damply dank  
    			On shadowed walkways, past the banks  
    			Of monitors now Lisa clanks.  
    			Each step she takes stirs crimson gloom  
    			And echoes like the knell of doom  
    			Pervade the white-tiled cutting room.  
    			While, fighting panic, plans depleted,  
    			Resolute, still undefeated   
    			They've no way out: no second door  
    			And no more time for doubts, before  
    			They climb straight in and close the drawer.
    
    Chorus			_Oh wretched Woodies! Blessed with haste  
    			But lacking sense - they must embrace  
    			The simple facts: their hiding place  
    			Is far from safe, their lives at stake,   
    			The compromise they had to make  
    			Is looking bad - they might escape,  
    			Toshiko's role might be fulfilled -  
    			But ignorance condemns them still:  
    			Jack's plan expired when Jack was killed!_
    
     Voiceover		The scene as seen pans slow and wide,  
    			Dark, stark and silent, life denied;  
    			An elegy for love and pride,  
    			Two bodies prone, two trapped inside.  
    			And bloodied by the dim red light  
    			The Hub lies still, no hope in sight  
    			As thudding steps bring Lisa near,  
    			Inside the drawer they quake with fear -   
    			Was Jack's pledge right? It all ends here?


	2. The Ballad of Ianto Jones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The true events of Cyberwoman (with G(r)eek chorus).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See part 1 for cast, notes, etc
> 
> I own nothing but the happy space between my ears
    
    
    Voiceover		A gasp, a twitch - dim shadows shift,  
    			Stiff shoulders roll and eyelids lift  
    			As rising hands scrape sweat-damp hair  
    			From off a brow that's lined with care  
    			And death - though pained he's never tamed.  
    			Then, poise reclaimed, that famed blue stare  
    			Refocused on the larger game,  
    			Disoriented, wracked with pain  
    			But duty-bound, Jack stands again.
    
    Chorus			_Words can't compete - joy conquers tongues  
    			As from the great beyond Jack comes  
    			Once more, his bitter-sweet reward  
    			We doubted once, but never more  
    			Will mourning dim our inner glee.  
    			And though we clearly must agree  
    			The blessings brought by Rusty's grace  
    			In bringing Jack through time and space  
    			To Cardiff's rift, we must insist  
    			This precious gift needs better care:  
    			Soft hands to smooth dishevelled hair  
    			And warm flesh chilled by concrete bare -  
    			While pliable amenities   
    			That launched a thousand 'ships  
    			Deserve more comfort, twisted lips  
    			Should be kissed better, freed from threat -  
    			He's not a pet. You know we're right;  
    			Jack's not for Christmas - he's for life._
    
     Voiceover		He shakes his head to clear the ache  
    			Tries not to wonder why his fate  
    			Seems frequently to act as bait,  
    			Then spotting Ianto slumped close by,  
    			Foul insurrection's set aside  
    			As creased concern fills Harkness' eyes,  
    			And slithering down the concrete bank,  
    			He presses tight to Ianto's flank  
    			Then looks to see if Lisa saw -  
    			But she's intent upon the drawer...
    
    Inside, the pair are lying close  
    			Breath mingling, almost nose to nose,  
    			Cop top: doc bottom, silently  
    			Both waiting for discovery.  
    			Hydraulics hissing, upgrades creak,  
    			She bends, she grips and metal squeaks -  
    			Then pulls the handle, blankly stares  
    			Ta da! The drawer lies empty, bare.
    
    Across the hub while Lisa seeks,  
    			Jack names this Ianto, taps a cheek.  
    			There's no response, no breath is seen,  
    			Beneath the red lights pale skin gleams -  
    			It can't be true, is Ianto dead?  
    			Jack leans in closer, lifts his head -
    
    Death scented, hid in dark restriction  
    			Nerves necessitate prescription,  
    			Doctor Harper specifies  
    			A palliative for anxious fright,  
    			Effective, simple to apply...
    
    Down in the pond, in clearer sight  
    			Jack seems to think that Owen's right.  
    			A tiny pause, a better view,  
    			Then two and two, tongues breaking through,  
    			Four pairs of lips are firmly glued  
    			(Though Ianto's mouth is quite involved  
    			The rest of him is still out cold).
    
    Now lenses focus, data feeds  
    			Through high-spec firewalls at top speed  
    			To where, in basement level six,  
    			The Torchwood Archive whirrs and clicks:
    
    File path assigned: CCTV/Hub interface/Security  
    			Sub-sectioned further: Staff/HR/First Aid/ Requiring CPR
    
    A musing click, a worried hum,  
    			The system chews its VR thumb,  
    			Creates a copy of the log  
    			And files it under: Harkness/Snog
    
    Chorus			_All hail to Rusty! God indeed  
    			Providing for our every need,  
    			He gave us Jack, then brought him back  
    			With joy and anguish, angst and crack  
    			(Of many kinds), and now to bring  
    			This vision to our sight we'll sing,  
    			All voices raised in praise to thee,   
    			Almighty Celtic deity.  
    			And though we're not entirely sure,  
    			The point is moot - who cares what for -  
    			Jack's snogging Ianto on the floor!_
    
     Voiceover		Some, TARDIS-like, Time Slip equipped,  
    			Their buttons fumble, press and grip,  
    			Devour each moment lip to lip,  
    			With zoom employed to check for tongues,  
    			Where hands are placed - the shape of bums -   
    			Thus forming, with a joyous whoop,  
    			A slash-infused perpetual loop.
    
    Gwen and Owen, Ianto, Jack -  
    			As frames roll forward, then roll back,  
    			The moment tightens, goes to slack -
    
    Chorus			_Such concentration addles senses  
    			Causes fires and weakens tenses,  
    			Thought, like touch, a bare sensation,  
    			Nonetheless bears radiation -  
    			Image joins imagination  
    			Scratching at that subtle crust,  
    			Corruption threatens, fuelled with lust -_
    
     Voiceover		Time's fabric stretched, that fragile skin  
    			'Twixt like and life is drawing thin,  
    			Acceleration, retrograde,    
    			Such interruptions aggravate  
    			That spatial rift which fuels our plot,  
    			Excited neurons, running hot,  
    			Scour layers now from either side;  
    			Electrons thick: dimensions wide -  
    			Reality, contained inside,  
    			Contaminates the great divide!
    
    But viewing's joy begins to wane  
    			As fraught nerves stretch, suspense sustained  
    			By repetition growing strained:  
    			It's not enough in retrospect,  
    			They've got to know what happens next -  
    			Vexed thoughts collide, reach out - connect!
    
    Frayed edges merge, frail links restored  
    			Time reconnects - and on the floor  
    			Pale Ianto gasps. With nerves still raw  
    			From love's betrayal, his mouth drops wide,  
    			Eyes stunned and glossed, heart's fibre tried  
    			By trials and loss, and now his boss:  
    			Disgraced, embraced, all said - he's lost.
    
    Jack shakes his head, a single finger  
    			Pressed to close Jones's lips let linger,  
    			Waiting for the proper cue.  
    			Whilst, back inside, the other two  
    			Have made the most of dark seclusion.  
    			No debate and no confusion,  
    			Mutually assured conclusion  
    			Dimly lit, hands roaming free,  
    			No pause for breath, complaint or plea  
    			'Til suddenly, illicit peace  
    			Is shattered by a tipsy Rhys.
    
    Stood framed against the Cardiff glow,  
    			Relaxed, tanked up, with Daf in tow,  
    			They're heading for a curry now.  
    			But first, this self-confessed Welsh dream  
    			Must ring his Gwen. His simple scheme  
    			To ask a favour wreathed with smiles -  
    			This loving bloke, out on the tiles,   
    			Forgot to check his Radio Times  
    			(And don't forget there are existing  
    			Other forms of TV listing),  
    			He'll miss his show - he'd rather not -
    
    Rhys			Can you tape Wife Swap? I forgot.
    
    Voiceover		Shocked lips draw tight, eyes wide with fright  
    			Meet, blinking blindly, seeking light  
    			While fumbling fingers stalk the sound -  
    			It must be stopped or they'll be found!
    
    Chorus			_Accursed phone! Your plangent tone  
    			Ensures your whereabouts are known,  
    			That signal that you've somehow found  
    			So many storeys underground  
    			Must wrest fraught lips from passion's throes;  
    			Their hiding place has been exposed!  
    			The ironies of tangled plot -  
    			As sneers conceal blood running hot  
    			Gwen might insist she'd rather not  
    			Get quite so near, but can rank fear  
    			Be solely blamed for snogging here?_
    
     Voiceover		Their brief reprieve has reached its end,  
    			They're out of hope, they can't pretend  
    			It's looking good - they must defend  
    			Their fragile lives with tiny knives -  
    			No time to pause, they hit the floor  
    			Dishevelled, rolling from the drawer  
    			To see her turn a bare, blank stare   
    			To Gwen. Then slow, with steady pace  
    			Advancing with the need to share  
    			Her fate, this fatal steel embrace.
    
    They're trapped, and worse this time they're seen -   
    			There's no way out, frank panic gleams  
    			Gwen surely can't evade her plans...
    
    But wait! A hero comes to stand!  
    			Whip-thin, a wary, wiry man -
    
    Owen			Don't you touch her!
    
    Voiceover				      	He's shaking, wired,  
    			Adrenal boosters primed and fired.  
    			A nimble flick, he sticks her quick  
    			Then twists the blade. This healer, sick  
    			Of death, must kill or else be killed,  
    			But knows whose blood he'd rather spilled.
    
    Distorted tones roar loudly, pained  
    			As Lisa falls, such self retained  
    			That sends chilled blood through Ianto's veins -  
    			As mothers know their wounded young,  
    			He knows that voice - his love's undone  
    			Her anguished cry demands he come -
    
    As Ianto sprints towards the ramp   
    			Jack slumps, exhausted, on the bank,  
    			And wary Owen slowly backs   
    			Face tension-etched, he can't relax,  
    			But feigning calm then turns to catch  
    			The glaze that twists Gwen's well-kissed pout.
    
    Gwen			So what the hell was that about?
    
    Voiceover		His practised shrug conceals his doubt -  
    			While accusation he'll dismiss  
    			With reticence; so what - they kissed.  
    			And nonchalant he waves a hand,
    
    Owen			A last kiss for a dying man?  
    			It's not as though I had it planned.   
    			Embarrassing enough, though, true,   
    			Considering we made it through -  
    			It's not as if I fancy you.
    
    Voiceover		Still flushed from fear and secret snogs,  
    			Gwen sniffs - his base reaction mocks  
    			His words, her senses won't be conned;
    
    Gwen			Don't bullshit, Owen. I'm not wrong,  
    			I know a prick when I meet one,  
    			And yours was hard - though not so long.
    
    Owen			It's not like you were struggling, hon.
    
    Voiceover		They rest in silence - sorely tried,  
    			Worn out by fear, but satisfied  
    			To make it through the day alive,  
    			Then sudden movement stirs their numbed  
    			Brief slump as, frantic, Ianto comes,  
    			The stairway taken at a run,  
    			With trembling hands and loose-lipped grief  
    			To sour this briefly felt relief,  
    			Unswerving, wracked with shocked remorse,  
    			Jones doesn't falter from his course  
    			But falling to unsteady knees  
    			With trembling hands now starts to reach  
    			For bloodied flesh. He can't appease  
    			Death's grasp, this time he can't rebuild  
    			His love, her flowing life's-blood spilled.
    
    Then solemn Owen finds his voice;
    
    Owen			We had to kill her or be killed.
    
    Voiceover		Gwen must agree,
    
    Gwen					We had no choice.
    
    Voiceover		Such reasons fall like empty noise  
    			On Jones's remorse; his fractured joy  
    			Must run its course. Those tender hopes  
    			He'd entertained to find a cure  
    			Have left him drained. Grief fills his throat  
    			And drowns his heart - their love was pure,  
    			A state of bliss, and now to see her  
    			Brought to this...   
    					At Torchwood One   
    			Where they employed her, foolish pride  
    			Almost destroyed her. When he'd done  
    			Her life was saved - but at such cost:  
    			True love betrayed, all sense denied  
    			He thought he knew what lay inside   
    			Her heart. Now death, though overdue  
    			And much too soon, compounds his loss:  
    			Not merely Lisa, Torchwood too.
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, so dead inside,  
    			Without her love to justify  
    			This sad existence, Ianto's lost.  
    			He did his best but now the cost of  
    			Lisa's life has been made clear:   
    			Betrayal, violence, lies and fear -  
    			Whilst hidden in a storeroom near  
    			The room that saw their last embrace  
    			A mangled corpse, his ruined face  
    			An accusation, lies - like Jones  
    			A broken man, his poignant fate  
    			In giving aid to be undone:  
    			Though selfish grief, like death, can't wait   
    			For Jones, remorse has come too late._
    
     Voiceover		A sky of tears blurs Ianto's sight,   
    			For everything he's lost tonight:  
    			His cornerstone; his good repute;  
    			The pain of loss strikes sorrow mute -    
    			Then sudden motion draws his gaze  
    			From musing fugues of mourning's haze  
    			To see her eyes flick bright and wide -
    
    In shocked surprise Jones cannot hide  
    			The terror in his tear-filled eyes.  
    			He finds his feet, starts back in fear,   
    			Quite clearly frightened of his dear  
    			Sweet cyber-girl, conflicted love  
    			Renounced him once and that's enough.
    
    Gwen grabs his arm; he's got to come,   
    			She's on her feet now - time to run -
    
    Gwen			Get out! Please, Ianto - move your arse,	  
    			Get out I said!
    
    Voiceover				They're moving fast -  
    			Up clanging stairs they run; Gwen's last  
    			Ensuring Ianto's coming too -  
    			They have to flee, it's what they do  
    			But where the hell they're running to...
    
    Then suddenly the hopeless sight  
    			Of dim-lit walls and doors locked tight  
    			Is brightened: hope is Harkness shaped -   
    			Across the Hub their course set straight,   
    			And round their Captain congregate,			   
    			Though startled Owen shakes his head  
    			And then observes
    
    Owen					    You should be dead.
    
    Jack			I'm the stubborn type, I can't help that.  
    			Now get behind me, just keep back.
    
    Voiceover		He clicks a spark; he lights the flame,   
    			While Lisa scorns such petty rage,  
    			And Ianto moans, but Jack is firm;  
    			He'll end this here, upon this stage.
    
    Upstairs Toshiko kneels and frowns,  
    			Though ordered up, she's feeling down,  
    			And ponders as she checks the board  
    			If that's what Jack thinks team-work's for.  
    			Then, muttering beneath her breath  
    			The number that she can't forget,  
    			Resolves to shine at solo scenes  
    			If they won't let her play sardines.
    
    Jack shakes the bottle, torch waved wide,  
    			He'll keep her back or see her fry.  
    			Sharp orders snapped, then marinade  
    			Must be applied - she's quickly sprayed  
    			Then scrambling to the lift full pelt,  
    			Jack joins his team. No movement's felt  
    			He tries again, a grim refrain  
    			That takes Toshiko's name in vain  
    			Then, looking Ianto in the eye  
    			He frowns,
    
    Jack				     I'm sorry.
    
    Voiceover				         From the sky  
    			The flap of leathered wings comes near.  
    			With razor-jaw and reptile sneer  
    			Myfanwy from her nest drops, rapt,  
    			She's hungry, needs to eat,  
    			And though in silver foil it's wrapped,  
    			That's fresh, well-seasoned meat.
    
    They hold him tight, can't let him free,  
    			But can't dismiss Jones's panicked plea,
    
    Ianto			She'll die!
    
    Voiceover			    Three silent frowns agree.
    
    Tosh working quickly, eyes alight,  
    			Has found the circuit numbered right,  
    			With three-five-seven patched straight in  
    			This gorgeous geek can crack a grin  
    			As tubes quick-flicker, start to glow,  
    			A sudden surge jolts volts below  
    			And lo! The magic slab ascends.  
    			Its progress slow, they want to go  
    			But can't escape the gruesome show:
    
    A mighty punch, the irksome beast  
    			Is cast aside, but will not cease,  
    			Saliva dripping from her beak,   
    			Foul eyes alight, she wants to feast.
    
    They rise above the killing floor,  
    			But still the noise of battle's roar   
    			Rings clearly: Lisa's cries of pain  
    			And fear; Myfanwy's hunger plain,  
    			While Ianto struggles, cheeks harangued  
    			By raging tears, this quiet, meek man  
    			Demands Jack try another plan.
    
    Ianto			Just call it off - I know you can,  
    			It's not too late; we'll lock her up,  
    			Just have some fucking mercy - stop!
    
    Voiceover		His pleas are shunned; so far from base  
    			He can't get off - the sturdy brace  
    			Of Gwen and Owen, steadfast, true,  
    			Restrain him; what he wants to do   
    			Is suicide. They hold him fast  
    			Until they reach the top at last  
    			Then stagger blindly on the Plass.
    
    Dead silence fills the darkened scene  
    			As Tosh runs up, her face agleam,
    
    Toshiko			It worked! I did it! See - you're here!  
    			What happened -
    
    Jack					_No._
    
     Voiceover				     His anguish clear,  
    			Jack can't accept Toshiko's cheer   
    			And turns away. They've won the fight  
    			But being right can't stop the pain -  
    			More loss from Torchwood One. What gain  
    			Could justify such death and shame   
    			As this? No teasing smile, no kiss  
    			Will set things right, or yet dismiss   
    			The cause: Jones's heart-strong act ensured  
    			Jack had to kill - there was no cure -  
    			And no choice now: he must endure.			  
    			His never-ending, lonely span  
    			Condemns him still: his joy's all sham,  
    			His life entailed, his duty clear;   
    			He'll take their weight - the buck stops here.
    
    But Ianto's rage is too profound  
    			To merely mourn, and spinning round  
    			A straight fist flies - Jack hits the ground.
    
    Ianto			You could have saved her!
    
    Voiceover					 Crimson faced  
    			Jones snarls - and Gwen and Owen race  
    			To stop the fight, defending Jack  
    			Who's floored, but soon comes bounding back,  
    			Lip split, his nose a bloody flow.  
    			While Ianto, rage undimmed by blows  
    			Held back by Gwen, distils his woes  
    			To venom and a hate-filled stare:
    
    Ianto			You're worse than anything down there.  
    			I'll get my chance - don't think I'll care  
    			To save you when your life's at stake,  
    			I'll watch you suffer while you wait  
    			For me to act - then watch you die!
    
    Voiceover		The punch was painful, but this spite  
    			Has pole-axed Jack. This can't be right -  
    			He's died so many times tonight  
    			To save his team, now Jones' contempt  
    			Hurts more than Lisa's volts. Resentful  
    			Accusation, blood and shame  
    			Aren't new, but blame can't see the frame  
    			Of reference changed: Jones can accuse,  
    			Parade his loss - but Jack's still Jack:  
    			Still gives a toss. He staggers forward -   
    			Still the boss but human too,  
    			Too close to tears to stay aloof.
    
    Jack			What else was I supposed to do?
    
    Voiceover		In all the fuss and scuffling rush  
    			Of retribution, curse and cuss,  
    			Toshiko's save is rather lost.  
    			And though she won't solicit praise  
    			She has to speak, can't be delayed,  
    			Her bright idea was quite inspired -
    
    Toshiko			Back in reception, pulling wires,  
    			I found the switch that stopped the count -   
    			I've tripped the lockdown timer out!  
    			It's nearly done - it won't take long,   
    			A few more seconds, once those wands  
    			Are off the power will come back on,  
    			And we can get back in!
    
    Voiceover		A moment's silence, Jack just stares  
    			At Tosh. She's proud, quite unaware  
    			Of repercussions from her act  
    			Though Ianto grasps the salient facts  
    			While Jack's still gaping, turns his back  
    			And simply sprints away.
    
    Chorus			_Oh woe is Jones, this yo-yo Jones,  
    			He's up, he's down, his torment known,  
    			But dogged to the bitter end,  
    			Which must come soon - this sad pretence  
    			That Lisa's life can be fulfilling  
    			Has to change Jones's final billing.  
    			As with Suzie, twisted thought -   
    			Insanity - unless well taught  
    			Will end in death or Bedlam's cage  
    			(Or, rarely, on the West End stage).  
    			But still he runs: he can't deny  
    			Or justify his harsh reply,   
    			Condemned by love, hard-pressed, distressed  
    			Co-author of his own sad plight._
    
     Voiceover		Though wearied, still the team will follow,  
    			'Cross the paved, the wooden straight,   
    			And pounding boards, all panting, madly  
    			Chasing Jones, can't hesitate -  
    			He must be stopped. If she survived  
    			He'll never make it out alive.
    
    Chorus 			_Now tender hearts may weep, it's clear  
    			That tragic end is nigh,  
    			Jones won't be stopped, no threat or fear  
    			Can halt his stumbling slide   
    			From fragile grace to hasty death -  
    			But hush! A maid draws nigh  
    			Intent to serve. This sweet-faced child  
    			Of Cardiff knows our Jones as mild  
    			And funny, smartly dressed, quite cute,  
    			With no idea of mad pursuit  
    			Or Cyber-girlfriends - Torchwood's just  
    			A regular, with crispy crust._
    
     Annie			Pizza!
    
    Voiceover			Arms both filled with boxes  
    			Coleslaw balanced on the top,  
    			She's disconcerted when the lock  
    			Clicks open, but then steps inside.   
    			No answer and no Jones in sight  
    			She frowns, calls,
    
    Annie				    	Ianto?
    
    Voiceover					No reply  
    			Comes forth, but when she turns to find  
    			A door she's never seen, surprised  
    			But curious, she has to pry...
    
    Through metal doors and tunnels dim  
    			Her path is lit, then bright lights glint,  
    			The door rolls slowly shut,  
    			Her only comment now she's in  
    			And sees the wider Hub,  
    			A perspicacious:
    
    Annie					Bloody hell!
    
    Voiceover		But has to ask - it pays her bills -
    
    Annie			Hey, Ianto, want this grub or not?
    
    Voiceover		Then suddenly, high overhead,  
    			A screeching cry rings loudly  
    			Incredulous, her wondering stare  
    			Turned roof-wards tracking slowly  
    			While tremulous but empty air  
    			Is filled with chords that darkly blare  
    			With minor menace, growing still  
    			To mark with shrill and steely thrills  
    			How, with the power restored, light clothes  
    			The Cyberwoman: bland, composed,  
    			Her bloodied flesh exposed (of course  
    			Those stains might just be spicy sauce).
    
    Struck dumb, bemused - too late to run -  
    			It looks like Annie's time has come.
    
    Chorus			_Alas for Jones, he's bound by twists  
    			Of plot to rue what pain dismissed -			  
    			His hunger brought her, now she'll feed  
    			Unsentimental cyber-greed.  
    			Although one spark of brighter light remains -   
    			With what he's done and seen,  
    			And how his heart just aches tonight,  
    			He's rather lost his appetite._
    
     Voiceover		Across the quay the team move quickly,  
    			Catching dust from Ianto's heels,  
    			Cross Mermaid Boardwalk, clattering fleetly,  
    			Jack insistently appeals he
    
    Jack			Stop!
    
    Voiceover			Gwen's tack is scarcely quieter,   
    			Knives might fail, their slice is slight -
    
    Gwen			The pterodactyl just attacked her  
    			How the hell could she survive?
    
    Voiceover		Toshiko, meanwhile, must protest  
    			She only did what she thought best.  
    			But Jack's disdainful, unimpressed -
    
    Jack			When I want you to think, I'll say so!
    
    Voiceover		Ianto's there, the door swings wide -
    
    Toshiko			If you'd just share your plans then I'd know!
    
    Voiceover		Out of sight, he ducks inside  
    			The quay-side office that's his pride  
    			But now he's got no time to preen  
    			Just frowns, and leaning past the screen  
    			He jabs the button, grabs a gun,  
    			Then whirls to face the team he's stunned.
    
    They stop stock-still, with hands outstretched  
    			Their pleas released on panted breath -
    
    Gwen			Please, Ianto, don't be stupid.
    
    Voiceover		She's trying to be calm,   
    			And stretches out a soothing hand  
    			To reassure, perhaps disarm   
    			While Jones, aim turned on Harkness' face  
    			Won't let her near, steps back a pace -
    
    Ianto			I'm going back to save her,  
    			Don't stop me or I'll shoot,  
    			You'll never understand my pain -   
    			I've nothing left to lose.
    
    Jack 			There's always something left to lose.
    
    Gwen			Just drop the gun -
    
    Voiceover				   Tosh gasps, and then  
    			As Ianto turns his aim on Gwen	  
    			Jack grips his wrist, steel fingers twist,  
    			The swift manoeuvred hold insists.  
    			While, close behind, the team implore   
    			For sanity, Jack; Webley drawn,  
    			Sets sights along Jones's trembling jaw.
    
    Jack			You want to make that kind of threat  
    			You'd better follow through.  
    			You hid from us - from _me_ - withheld the loyalty we're due,  
    			And every move you've made tonight has screamed betrayal too.
    
     Back down! Your theory's flawed - you're wrong;  
    			The girl you loved is dead and gone.
    
    Ianto			Get off me!
    
    Jack					If you go back in  
    			You'll end this how it should have been  
    			And stand beside us - join the team.  
    			You brought this on us, I want proof   
    			Of loyalty beyond reproof.  
    			One final chance: if she's alive  
    			You'll execute her - do it right,  
    			But if you let that thing survive  
    			Don't hope, don't doubt - she'll still be dead,  
    			I'll execute you both instead.
    
    Voiceover		But threats are pointless - Doting Jones   
    			Too blind to see - his love too strong   
    			To kill the one he dotes upon  
    			No matter what that love's become.
    
    He straightens in Jack's baleful gaze,  
    			And though the shaking voice betrays   
    			His apprehension, he won't play -  
    			He's petrified but resolute;  
    			No power on earth will make him shoot.
    
    Ianto			I won't, and you can't make me.   
    			You're think you're bloody great,   
    			All coat and innuendo  
    			And the rules you have to break.  
    			Your braces, belt and sexy hair,  
    			That suave demeanour, charming flair;  
    			One big damn hero. Captain mine,   
    			You're not heroic, not divine  
    			Your pedestal has caught on fire  
    			Your reputation will expire.  
    			No more employees in your thrall -  
    			So, kill me, prove to one and all  
    			You're the biggest monster of them all.
    
    Chorus			_In cyberspace the tension's tight,  
    			Will Ianto Jones survive this night?  
    			To monitor and TV screen  
    			Intent, concerned, all watchers lean,  
    			With whirling brains and frazzled care  
    			From snogs and shocks, while fingers bare  
    			On mice (or mouses) start to wear  
    			The fabric of the Net quite thin,  
    			A quiet hum becomes a din -  
    			What should be 'out' is getting 'in'._
    
     Voiceover		Now Jack steps forward, Ianto back,
    
    Chorus			_In darkness, there's a quiet crack_
    
     Voiceover		Another pace, and then a third,
    
    Chorus			_Now louder, voices can be heard_
    
     Voiceover		Jack lifts his gun once more, takes aim...
    
    Chorus			_A cry of 'shoot!' A cry of 'shame!'_
    
     Voiceover		And now a sudden hush is heard,  
    			Some, fingers crossing, wait the word,  
    			For this is Jack; he's always been  
    			Much darker than the dancing queen  
    			He seemed back there in Doctor Who,  
    			His ruthless streak is hardly new.  
    			This driven man, so debonair,  
    			Has lived more lifetimes than they care  
    			To think about. What's in his head?  
    			And really, what's just one more dead?
    
    Chorus			_Across the great electric tide  
    			Are those that take the other side -_
    
     Voiceover		This Jones they like, they think he's cute -  
    			What's more they don't think Jack should shoot.  
    			Poor Ianto's suffered too, they say.  
    			If Jack's so old he's worn away  
    			Some of his corners, smoothed his ire  
    			And dampened his internal fire.  
    			Jack's got a special place for Jones  
    			(And not just in his eager stones).  
     _Harassment, sir_ , the rallying cry,  
    			The coffee-dragon flag flies high.
    
    Chorus 			_Will Jack kill Ianto? Will he shoot  
    			And ruin such a lovely suit?_
    
     Voiceover		With so much thought all concentrated  
    			Energy accumulates,  
    			Throughout that space unconsecrated  
    			Surging tides now escalate:  
    			The lines are drawn, the lines are breached,   
    			A clear agreement can't be reached.  
    			A rip is heard, a punctured shriek -  
    			Reality has sprung a leak!
    
    Chorus 			_And spilling from the ether swirling  
    			Hundreds, thousands, now come whirling  
    			Arguing, shrill voices raised,   
    			To fill the concrete painted stage -  
    			A surging tide of startled geeks,  
    			Discovering the power of speech!_
    
     Lord Rusty		What's all this fuss?
    
    Voiceover				      A voice exclaims  
    			(Enthusiastic, Welsh, mid-range),  
    			A breath of hush, a quiet aside,  
    			A giant of a man is spied,  
    			A dark-haired woman by his side.
    
    Lord Rusty (for 'tis he) descends,  
    			Without pretence he condescends  
    			To listen to the crazed debates,  
    			The likes, the loves, the raging hates,  
    			Sometimes he nods, some notes dictates  
    			While Lady Julie contemplates.  
    			The arguments will all be heard,  
    			But Rusty's is the final word.
    
    Jack's lip curls hard, his finger twitches,  
                  		Fandom quickly digs its ditches:   
    			Weapons drawn, in trenches squatting,  
    			Fen divided - TV watching  
    			Armed with capslock, icons, art,  
    			Flames, spam and wanking - blah, blah, blah,  
    			The _better-death-than-retcon_ mob are heading for the bar.  
    			A fatwa pledged on Rusty's head if Jack does not desist  
    			And others still who simply wish  
    			Jack naked, bound, or merely kissed.
    
     Each case presented, pro and con,  
    			The battle rages on and on.  
    			While Ianto, though his love's confessed,   
    			Would rather live - he's sorely pressed  
    			To speak in his own interest.
    
    Ianto			Lord Rusty, please, just let me live  
    			My future's your prerogative -
    
    Voiceover		He flutters gamely, fading not,   
    			His face all shiny-wet with snot,  
    			Then tears upon his cheeks fall fast,  
    			As he prepares to breathe his last.
    
    Ianto			But while I can (he stutters out),  
    			I've got some final words.  
    			I did it just for love, you see,  
    			That's all it was, no gain for me  
    			Beyond the bliss of Lisa's arms.  
    			You've seen the upgrades, but her charms   
    			Go far beyond the shiny pants.  
    			And if you give her half a chance,  
    			You'll soon find out you like her too.   
    			She's sweet and lovely, gentle, nice,  
    			And funny - really, and I know  
    			The first impression wasn't good,   
    			But give her time, on you she'll grow  
    			Just one last chance, you know you should.
    
    Voiceover		He swallows hard, he hesitates,  
    			And Rusty's furrowed look gestates.  
    			It can't be good, his head he shakes,  
    			As Ianto in his puddle quakes  
    			The frowning God prepares to speak -  
    			Then on his knees, damp Ianto squeaks,
    
    Ianto			I know I've lost my right to plead,  
    			And I can't say I'll let her go,   
    			She's been my love - You've got to know   
    			I'm bound to be a mite emo -
    
    But this I'll pledge - if Jack will take his gun from out my ear.  
    			As punishment, my virgin arse I'll forfeit gladly pay,  
    			To slake his need to praise my rear, repeatedly, each day.  
    			I will (his shoulders stiffen now), I'll do just what I must  
    			To satisfy the needs of plot, and slake the Captain's lust.
    
    Jack's urge to shag I'll yet assuage,  
    			Just let me make it past this page!
    
    Voiceover		A rumpus then; some fangirls faint  
    			Floor managers bring out restraints.  
    			The audience descends en masse:  
    			Some cradle Ianto, others press  
    			And targets sketch upon his brow,  
    			While others still converge on Jack,   
    			Who struggles not, submerging now   
    			Beneath a tide of sprawling limbs,   
    			Til Rusty's shout disturbs their fete -
    
    Lord Rusty		Get off that Captain! Put him down,  
    			That's you, Jack, too - we're running late.
    
    Voiceover		Now Rusty thinks, he ponders long,  
    			His brow a twitching vein upon,  
    			While prone, the trembling Ianto waits,   
    			His hopeless pose anticipates...
    
    And then at length, Lord Rusty sighs,
    
    Lord Rusty		All right then lad, we'll compromise.  
    			That virgin arse that's going free,  
    			You'll shake with ambiguity.
    
    Voiceover		His head he nods, a fate ordained,  
    			A pardon granted and proclaimed.
    
    Fair Julie waves her magic wand,   
    			But nothing happens; something's wrong.
    
    Lackey #1		No signal (sighs this techie, passing),  
    			We should've thought, and put a mast in,  
    			It's too late now of course (he gestures)  
    			RSPB special measures;  
    			Though Torchwood's far beyond the law,  
    			Endangered species, pterosaur.
    
    Voiceover		She finds a tone, she makes the call,   
    			One finger in her ear to block   
    			The racket from the heaving crowd.
    
    Lady Julie		We're working here against the clock.  
    			You know that Jones we're killing off,  
    			The one that Jack was down to choke?  
    			We've changed our minds, it's more a cough.  
    			No, Chris (she's frowning), it's no joke.  
    			Look, add some extra UST,  
    			We'll try for ambiguity.  
    			Just have him cry an awful lot  
    			And then we'll find another plot.
    
    Voiceover		Meanwhile, poor Jack is feeling used,   
    			His confidence has been abused,   
    			Should he accept he'll be besmirched,  
    			And saddled with this lissom Lurch.   
    			He contemplates the suited man   
    			Prone at his feet, the form and span,  
    			The length of limb, the face -   
    			Then smiles; he'll bear it for a little while.
    
    But not just yet - he looks and grins,   
    			Sets sights on fangirls, dives back in...
    
    Chorus 			_With no regard for rules or regs,  
    			No net, no risk assessment checks   
    			Or safety harness, nonetheless,   
    			Our Captain does his very best  
    			To reunite opposing factions.  
    			Offering a choice distraction,   
    			Sacrificing dignity   
    			Without complaint - he'll intervene   
    			No matter what he has to do,  
    			What torments he's subjected to -  
    			But bears it with a smile serene  
    			(That's when his face is even seen).	  
    			And we, adoring, surge and rush  
    			To verify the Harkness touch -  
    			But don't mistake this zeal for glee;  
    			Procedure here at Torchwood Three,  
    			Where exploration is the key  
    			To understanding what's unknown,  
    			Means samples must be handled - grown -  
    			Preliminary tests repeated  
    			Careful study quite replete, but  
    			Finally our point's proved sound -  
    			It's true!  Without a doubt we've found  
    			Enough of Jack to go around!_
    
     Voiceover		At length, the masses are corralled,   
    			Jack extricated from their whirl  
    			Reluctantly (for such is he),  
    			His trousers found, tugged firmly free,  
    			The shirt though torn beyond repair.  
    			With innocent expression, bare,  
    			He shrugs and smirks and Rusty sighs.
    
    Lady Julie		Fetch wardrobe!
    
    Voiceover				  Lady Julie cries.  
    			Jack grins at her, she looks apace  
    			At make-up smeared across his face,   
    			Then Lady Julie shakes her head  
    			And goes to talk to Gwen instead.
    
    At last, with places now resumed,  
    			Green screens to hide the crowded room,   
    			Make-up adjusted, coiffed and groomed,  
    			Blood splashed and cut and bruised and stuff,  
    			The team are ready for the off.
    
    Lackey #2		Take forty-seven, lights, and... _Jack_ -
    
     Voiceover		But Jack's expression fails to crack.  
    			He's looking puzzled, shakes his head,
    
    Jack			This isn't right, he should be dead -  
    			He's gone too far to live instead.   
    			He can't just walk, it's very plain,  
    			I'm easy, yes, but not insane,  
    			And if you must then call me dense  
    			But really, guys, this makes no sense.  
    			This Ianto Jones, he cracked my base,   
    			He's threatening the human race,  
    			His girlfriend's killed me twice already,  
    			And now you want us going steady?
    
    Just tell me simply, make me keen,   
    			What motivates me in this scene?
    
    Voiceover		Lord Rusty sighs with heartfelt pain,  
    			He gestures;
    
    Lackey #2 			     _Cut!_
    
     Voiceover					rings out again.
    
    Lord Rusty		Now Jack (he draws the man in close),  
    			Forgiveness is the line we'll boast,  
    			Besides, he's fit, he's kind of cute,  
    			You've said yourself he suits that suit.  
    			And while we're here, another one,  
    			Remember 1941?
    
    Voiceover		Jack shakes his head, his look is strained.
    
    Jack			D'you have to bring that up again?  
    			And don't pretend it's just the same,   
    			I took my chances in the game,  
    			Stood up, was counted, took my fall,  
    			Died slumped against a bloody wall.
    
    Lord Rusty		But Jack, unlooked-for kindliness   
    			A rescue from a friend he's miffed,  
    			Might help him change, grow better aims,  
    			Someone much older - get my drift?  
    			I know for you it has to be  
    			Much longer than a century,   
    			But your perspective's not the best;  
    			We knew you in your leather vest!
    
    Don't try to make this hard for me,  
    			You've got no chance, you have to see,   
    			Not just one viewing on TV  
    			(He gestures widely, causing squee)  
    			This lot all bought the DVDs.
    
    Voiceover		Jack's turn to sigh.
    
    Jack					Just one last chance -  
    			But he's got to show some willing.  
    			I'm making all the running here,  
     			I'm not expecting him to cheer  
    			But surely something has to give  
    			If I'm supposed to let him live.
    
    Voiceover		He turns to face the nervous Ianto,  
    			Moving close -
    
    Jack				       	You had your chance,  
    			Now when I say your ass is mine   
    			There's no dispute. We'll redefine   
    			The lines in time, but for tonight   
    			I say ' _you piss_ ': You ask ' _how high?_ '   
    			It's bitter, sure, but swallow this   
    			Tonight, I might just take the risk  
    			That Rusty's right. I can't deny   
    			Without a second chance to shine  
    			I'd be long gone, but if he's wrong   
    			You've been advised; I won't think twice,   
    			I'm sick and tired of playing nice.  
    			You might be screwed, but don't ignore   
    			The truth. And if my faith's restored,   
    			Who knows - perhaps we both just scored.
    
    Voiceover		He finds his centre, cocks his gun  
    			Locates his well of righteous rage,   
    			Sets jaw, pats Ianto on the bum  
    			And summons his determined face -
    
    Lackey #2		And..... _action!_
    
     Voiceover			    	Jack's bleak tone is flat.  
    			Ten minutes grace before the fact   
    			He'll grant, but not a moment more -  
    			Jones isn't dim, he knows the score;  
    			His bargain's made, he can't complain  
    			Dissent won't win the day, that's plain,  
    			His urge to fight must be restrained   
    			If he'd survive (He's so unsure -   
    			But certain there must be a cure).  
    			Then stoops to get his gun, stands tall,  
    			His back against the bloody wall -   
    			And turning through the door he's gone  
    			To leave the team to chew upon  
    			The question of what's right and wrong.
    
    Jack's overwrought, pale Owen's calm   
    			Is fragile, worried Gwen won't harm   
    			A spider in her bath,   
    			While Tosh looks stunned,
    
    Toshiko						How can you ask -
    
    Voiceover		But Jack's retort comes just too fast,
    
    Jack			I don't need your opinion!
    
    Chorus			_Alas for Jack, the strain must show:  
    			With Ianto going down below  
    			The show ticks on. Denouements slowed  
    			By sweet distraction cross the lines   
    			Of interaction; life and rhyme   
    			Can't be sustained within real-time  
    			Without great effort - subtle twists   
    			Of plot (where two worlds co-exist  
    			In more than merely abstract acts)  
    			Have worn him out - the poor bloke's whacked,  
    			If there's another take he'll crack! _
    
     Voiceover		Downstairs, the Hub is filled with light,  
    			Blood-streaked debris distracts Jones's sight,  
    			Myfanwy croaks a creaky cry:  
    			A restless glance - this search a trial,  
    			No matter how he'd try, denial  
    			Is not a friend to Ianto Jones -   
    			Beneath his feet the concrete bones  
    			Of Torchwood hide another lie:  
    			Two boxes lying side by side  
    			Reminding Jones of hunger, lunch -  
    			The memory stuns - his painful hunch  
    			Of what his Lisa's gone and done   
    			Electrifies; he starts to run...
    
    Racing, splashing, sprinting damply  
    			Through cramped tunnels Ianto pants   
    			And gasps; aflame with shock and shame,  
    			Red shadows frame expectant pain  
    			And hurtling through the unlocked door  
    			He flinches: on the floor before   
    			Him Lisa lies; still, unaware,  
    			By concrete cradled, cold eyes stare   
    			Unseeing; blood and water mired -  
    			The handles off her metal hat, her circuits all cross-wired.
    
    Such anguish won't support his knees,  
    			Too late for lies - he must believe   
    			His bloodied hands; though death's appeased   
    			His pain won't cease. No last riposte -   
    			No words: his agile tongue is lost   
    			To mourning now. She lies, like dross   
    			That he must sweep, her death the cost   
    			Of his release. Beloved life   
    			Wiped out, he's lost his cause to thrive;  
    			Can't live without his love alive.
    
    Impotent grief drowns out his fears,  
    			Deep welling eyes spill scalding tears		  
    			On ravaged cheeks, bereft, he weeps  
    			For loss and Lisa, love and life -  
    			Survival's just too high a price.
    
    Time has no pity, pause nor grace  
    			And Jones no time - that frenzied haste  
    			That drove his pace to centre stage  
    			Left un-appraised the shallow cage   
    			Of darkness -
    
    Annie					Ianto?
    
    Voiceover					On his feet,  
    			Defiant even in defeat,  
    			He leaps, with gun raised high, jaw tight,  
    			Eyes popping at the plaintive sight			  
    			That stares across the cyber-chair -  
    			The slim, young woman standing where  
    			He tended Lisa's needs with care  
    			Has cloth and hair in place of steel,  
    			But nonetheless seems not to feel  
    			The bloodied gash that rends her brow.  
    			He's gaping now but simply mouths						  
    			A shocked denial - passion clouds  
    			His judgement but he's not insane -
    
    Annie/Lisa		Please Ianto, love - it's really me,   
    			Your Lisa. Human now - again.  
    			I had to hold on, don't you see?   
    			I saw you fight so hard for me  
    			I took this body, changed our brains -  
    			I did it all for you!
    
    Voiceover		It can't be true; his senses reel  
    			In disbelief - the cyber-thief  
    			That stole his Lisa claims to feel  
    			His pain - has heartless death no shame?
    
    In thickened tones he must refute her:
    
    Ianto			You're not Lisa,
    
    Voiceover 				his dispute.  
    			Though through the loss and nausea  
    			A glance he'll chance to scan the floor -  
    			As stitches joining tender skin  
    			Might be to see her brain stays in			  
    			(In situations quite this strained  
    			It's hard to help assigning blame  
    			Whilst standing on discarded brains).  
    			But she's intent; he needs to heed her,  
    			Tries familiarity -
    
    Annie/Lisa		You always said you didn't love  
    			Me merely for the way I looked.
    
    Voiceover		He flinches; she's on surer ground  
    			Domestic detail has him hooked -
    
    Annie/Lisa		You know it was a Saturday   
    			Last time you said those words to me.  
    			We're both hung-over, you made cheese   
    			On toast, and moaned I hadn't   
    			Cleaned my kettle; it was filled with scale.  
    			We set a tent and camped that night  
    			On a beach in Brittany  
    			It got so cold we wore our coats,   
    			You cuddled close to me -   
    			One sleeping bag made room for two.  
    			Then morning came - when we awoke  
    			A dog was pissing on our tent -
    
    Voiceover		Gun shaking in his hand, Jones's throat  
    			Is choked, tear-soaked abundance stoked   
    			By vying cries: The green-screened tribe,  
    			Defiantly eclectic, pride   
    			Untamed (captivity's unease   
    			Appeased by Jones's best brew - or tea -  
    			And running feeds on HD-screens)  
    			Are torn now, have to disagree:  
    			Pure angst or pointless poignancy?
    
    They're silenced fast - umbrellas passed   
    			Among the hoard are quickly grasped -  
    			While those who can't contain their thoughts  
    			On Ianto's tears, tamed, not by force  
    			But merely threats of intercourse   
    			With super-soakers filled with sauce.  
    			But now inspectors intervene:  
    			It's minor, but a risk foreseen  
    			Must be assessed - behind the screens,  
    			Brave lackeys, tasked with holding fast  
    			Should Ianto's weeping drown the cast,  
    			Are issued sand-bags.
    
    Rusty nods -
    
    Lord Rusty 		Don't worry lad, those noisy sods  
    			Have no respect for emo sobs,  
    			You do your best - we'll trim the rest.  
    			Now - close together, looking stressed...
    
    Lackey #2		And back in three, two -
    
    Voiceover					 Ianto's numbed,  
    			Distraction come and gone, his gun   
    			Gripped tightly now as Annie speaks -   
    			A silent pledge that, one more squeak,   
    			A breath of cheek, he'll shoot the crowd  
    			And screw the Beeb instead, can't drown   
    			That rising fright: there's no more time...
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, his stand was brave  
    			But clearly Lisa can't be saved,  
    			Jack's point is proved, one death, then two -  
    			She'll work right through the cast and crew.  
    			Must Gwen die, Tosh and Owen too   
    			Before he'll act? She's clearly cracked!  
    			Whatever trace of loving grace   
    			And how her torn and bloodied face   
    			Draws pity, all those tears he's wept  
    			Can't wash her clean - untimely death,  
    			Integrity and self-respect  
    			Are drowned in such a tide of woe   
    			And loss as Jones has never known.  
    			As Tanizaki's life;  so Annie's -  
    			Sacrificed to hope in vain,  
    			Pain wells upon his stricken face,  
    			To rival tears that drip and race  
    			He can't say no - one last embrace...  
    			Awash with weeping, wrung by shame  
    			There's nothing right, and from tonight  
    			No more it can be - not again._
    
     Voiceover		What little choice he had long gone,  
    			Jones can't deny the siren song   
    			Of loving arms - he can't let go  
    			But must be strong, must take control,   
    			Be resolute, decisive, act...
    
    Face streaming still, he steps straight back  
    			Jaw set so tight it might just crack.  
    			While Lisa, stunned to see his gun,  
    			Can't understand - she's shocked, his blunt   
    			Rebuttal pains; she's only done   
    			What needed doing - can't he see?  
    			She's human now, it's done - they're free  
    			She doesn't want apologies,  
    			But surely he won't see this through -
    
    Annie/Lisa		It's me - it's Lisa, please, it's true -  
    			I did this all because of you,  
    			You wouldn't shoot and lose forever  
    			We'll be upgraded - stay together!
    
    Voiceover		A final proof he didn't need   
    			And Ianto, weeping without cease  
    			As greedy death prepares to feed,  
    			Must turn away; bereft, gun slack  
    			In nerveless fingers, duty wracked  
    			But torn by care: he cannot act  
    			To save his life, can't stand to share   
    			Her death; life's price too high to bear -  
    			Then suddenly the dank, still air  
    			Is riven by a single shot -
    
    Brow knotted, shocked, he's forced to watch  
    			A slowly oozing, bloody spot  
    			Mark cotton cloth, aghast - enthralled -   
    			The hijacked body staggers, falls...
    
    More shots resounding - darkened walls   
    			Confound with echoes; bloodied sounds   
    			That fade to sighs and silent grief  
    			As Ianto turns, distraught - relieved  
    			Of duty by the team. Four-square,  
    			They stand as one, cares fairly-shared.  
    			He can't react, just stands and stares -  
    			Gwen blinks; the others stare straight back.  
    			Team Torchwood: jury, judge and Jack -  
    			Defiant facts belie hard eyes:  
    			The price of failure - one more life.
    
    And beckoning across that wasted   
    			Place, cold death with Harkness' face  
    			Attends him now. Calm, without haste,  
    			Jones turns to kneel - soul forfeit; staked   
    			On bartered goals - this end foretold -   
    			The bloody concrete hard and cold  
    			Between that soul whose heart was sold  
     			As one adored, and she who bore   
    			Her. Hope is gone; his heart won't thaw -  
    			Head bowed, love's death to contemplate,  
    			A sobbing Ianto waits his fate.
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, poor Ianto Jones_
    
     Voiceover		While mournful strings sing Ianto's plight,
    
    Chorus			_Love lost, he bears the final cost_
    
     Voiceover		Grief segueing into wet, welsh night,
    
    Chorus			_Alone, he weeps but will not plead,_
    
     Voiceover		Across the peaceful bay, serene
    
    Chorus			_At Harkness' mercy: rarely seen -_
    
     Voiceover		Illumination blends...
    
    Swept clean  
    			The Hub's bright-lit familiar scene   
    			Seems bare of life. Then sirens cry   
    			And as the creaking hatch rolls wide  
    			A nervous Ianto steps inside.
    
    Neat, darkly-suited, shirt and tie  
    			In sombre shades of grey and white,   
    			The butler's bland façade in place  
    			He stalks across the empty space.  
    			Quite pale beneath his suit, distrait   
    			But guarded: bleak anticipation  
    			Stops him by the shallow basin,  
    			Stops him, staring up above  
    			To where Jack waits - a silent judge.
    
    Gwen watches both at Jack's left hand,  
    			Compassion in her weary stance -  
    			Love's not enough - no mitigation,  
    			Jones must hope that Harkness' patient   
    			Trust, so broken, can be learned   
    			Again. That second chance he'd earn   
    			Unspoken - then a nod; acknowledgment; Jack's gaze  
    			No sign of praise, no censure.  
    			Harkness merely stays his hand,   
    			And Ianto merely stands -
    
    Chorus			_Alas poor Jones, this Ianto Jones,  
    			He couldn't shoot the girl he loved,  
    			His future's lost, his heart is crushed -  
    			His love lies bleeding in the dust.  
    			An end now - brief lives flicker out			  
    			Decisive action can't hold doubt,  
    			As Ianto too must stand once more,  
    			Pick up his life, reset his jaw.  
    			His Lisa's dead but he survived -  
    			No time to rue his compromise,   
    			His bed is made from death and lies;  
    			He's sold his soul, what's more his crack,  
    			To Torchwood, God, and Captain Jack._
    
     Voiceover		Jack's brand of mercy is not strained  
    			By false presumption; Ianto's gained   
    			His life - And maybe something more.  
    			No matter how the game is scored  
    			Respect is never bought - just dearly priced.
    
    Not sure he's still alive  
    			Jones nods at last, the careful mask  
    			Stripped bare to prove the man. Dark-eyes   
    			Cried sleepless can't deny this life  
    			Reprieved: not seized or won by chance  
    			But given up as lost: Unasked,   
    			Set free - and costing everything.
    
    He pauses as his fate sinks in  
    			Then turns away - the day's beginning fast;  
    			Dazed thought can't surely last  
    			Subsumed beneath domestic tasks.
    
    Gwen's more than slightly dazed herself,  
    			Police-work taxes brains and health  
    			(And office chairs and coffee shops)  
    			And though a swap to special ops  
    			Increases risks, cops still get shot -  
    			Just not by their immortal boss.
    
    Gwen			You'd never really shoot him, Jack.
    
    Jack			No? Wouldn't I?
    
    Voiceover				He's not so sure,		    
    			But Gwen's persistent, pushing for  
    			A key to understand the man   
    			Beside her
    
    Gwen					If I'd gone to stand  
    			By Ianto, then would you shoot me?
    
    Voiceover		Jack's answer's simple, stating fact:
    
    Jack			You didn't.
    
    Voiceover			        Gwen can't disagree  
    			But that's not what she wants to know  
    			And tries again - rephrased just-so.  
    			She needs a handle, wants an in  
    			To Harkness' head. That perfect skin  
    			Can bleed - she's seen it,   
    			Life unending lies beneath it,   
    			Borne on pain Jack can't explain -   
    			Or won't. And then he shrugs again.  
    			Plain words rebuff her quest to touch,  
    			Ambiguous - his trust enough  
    			To prove her worth, but still so vague -
    
    Another try:
    
    Gwen					Will Ianto stay?
    
    Voiceover		Jack shrugs; unsure - or just won't say.
    
    Gwen			All that deception, all those lies  
    			Because he couldn't bear his life  
    			Without her there -
    
    Voiceover	     			    She pauses, eyes   
    			Jack carefully, a sideways look -
    
    Gwen			So, what he said - have you felt love  
    			You'd kill to keep?
    
    Voiceover				  Jack doesn't speak,  
    			But Gwen can't help her hopeless leap  
    			Through sympathy to what's beneath:
    
    Gwen			You know, when she had hold of you  
    			I thought... perhaps it wasn't true,  
    			Perhaps you could die after all -
    
    Voiceover		Jack's lip curls - tender, scabby skin  
    			Stretched gently by a wary, thin-lipped   
    			Smile of sorts - then turns to catch her eye.
    
    Jack			You want to know a secret? So did I.  
    			And for a second there I just felt so  _alive_
    
     Chorus			_When we first met you, Captain Jack,  
    			You swept us off our feet:  
    			A con man with a heart of gold  
    			And a ship we couldn't see;  
    			A hero with a hidden past -  
    			Ambiguous, a sensualist at heart._
    
     We wept with joy when you returned   
    			Unmarked, it seemed, from Dalek-death;   
    			Abandoned, spurned, your tragedy earned rage.  
    			We learned your future, found you still alive -  
    			A resident of Cardiff, with your pride   
    			Undimmed you'd changed,   
    			Your outlook strained by never-ending life.   
    			We blamed the Doctor then, but still -  
    			Whatever came, you always played the game.
    
    And now we watch as duty drives,  
    			Reanimates, revivifies -   
    			Returned to life, but not alive,  
    			So wearied by the passing years  
    			Your poignant efforts earn such tears  
    			As Ianto Jones could never buy   
    			No matter who he'd hide - or why.  
    			The future's yours. You talk of change  
    			And say we need to be prepared,  
    			Our Captain; though you don't explain -   
    			No matter where you lead we'd go.  
    			Enigma in a long, grey coat  
    			That boyish charm that captivated  
    			Far from lost, we've hoped and waited,  
    			Loved you as a ne'er-do-well -  
    			And when you did. Your simple spell  
    			Beguiled us with a bastard smile  
    			As tangled timelines hide your wiles:  
    			Bright soul unsold who never fell -  
    			You'll never yet be seen in hell.
    
    Voiceover		Jack stands aloof, so self-contained  
    			Unchanging in the midst of change,  
    			Divided, set apart - the seeming  
    			Monarch of the realm unseen  
    			Beneath the streets of Cardiff, gleaming  
    			Lights dispelling lurking gloom  
    			Of this; his living, working tomb.  
    			Bereft of life, he's nothing left  
    			But duty; no where else to go -
    
    As Jack above, so Jones below  
    			Must strive, automaton - alive  
    			In all but spirit, soiled by loss  
    			Accumulated dross, detritus  
    			Washed across the rift is sifted;  
    			Dumped; recycled - task repeated  
    			Past all sense and sanity -   
    			But still, it keeps the workplace clean.
    
    It's said that where there's life there's hope -  
    			And change makes life a little nicer,  
    			Time flees, all things must change or die,  
    			Hope too - no matter what the price  
    			That's paid, or how the players shout  
    			The odds: dice roll, the game begins
    
    Again - for Jones and Captain Jack,  
    			Another try: life, death and time   
    			Another chance, life still goes on -  
    			Just one more try
    
    Lackey #2				 _Cut!_
    
     Fade to black.


End file.
